Identity?

This week we had the DTS class from Yverdone join us in Burtigny to listen to the Chatel base leader, Thomas Gunder, speak on the identity of God.

I'll get straight to the JEER for the week. Thomas' teaching left a lot to be desired. We all know a lot about the issues that he has with his father, but that's about it. The first 2 days were decent - he gave us Lindt chocolate and went through a brief synopsis of Louie Giglio's "Indescribable" presentation. Although I saw Louie give the presentation live twice, the intricacy of God in the universe and our bodies is something that we can probably all be reminded of every single day and still not completely grasp. Unfortunately, on Wednesday, everything went downhill. Thomas obviously still has a lot of issues that he is working through with his father, and his speaking style is something that I have a hard time relating to and following. I think the rest of the class felt the same way, because everyone who wasn't asleep was doodling.

Wednesday night we had a Q&A with him, which was relatively interesting. He was more personable in a smaller setting but I still have a hard time relating to him. I did have the chance to talk with him about raising children in the mission field though, which is something that really interests me, since David and I may very well find ourselves in that situation. He made a good point that you are going to have ups and downs with child-rearing no matter what culture you're in but mentioned that a struggle was that his children weren't Tongan and weren't really Swiss, so they had a hard time fitting in. On the other hand, they were raised in a community seeing first-hand the role of God in their family and community, which is something that cannot be replicated in the ho-hum of "normal" Western culture. We have a long time before we need to consider this (I hope - hear that God?), but I was glad to have his opinion.

We haven't had it yet, but my CHEER for the week is going to be making dinner on Saturday night. David and I are in charge of cooking dinner and we are having MEXICAN food, which is my favorite. I'm really looking forward to having tacos and guacamole and salsa :) I also had a great time cooking chicken fried rice with Melissa on Wednesday night, and spending some quality time with her. Our rice didn't turn out quite like we planned but soy sauce makes everything good and it was a nice change of pace from noodles. I've always enjoyed cooking and the food here is very different than what I was used to eating at home, but I've come to see it as a fun challenge - a new, totally different kitchen, different ingredients, the metric scale - and it's fun.

Old Testament Template

This week, our very own Richard Leakey talked about the Old Testament Template. This concept, made famous by Landa Cope, focuses on using the principles from Old Testament teaching to guide and bless nations. I have been surprised by how interested I've been in the Old Testament, and I really enjoyed learning about how God's principles for Israel can still be made relevant to many different areas of society today. 

The most eye-opening part of the week for me was discussing how the Bible wasn't written for me or for America or for 2010 but that it is cross-cultural, multi-generational, and definitely not just for me. Too often, contemporary churches focus on Jesus' teachings and how they are relevant to us individually, but I love the concept that the Old Testament was written as a template for future nations and entire generations. Thinking about this as I read makes me feel completely insignificant but it is also helps me to remember that the way I live my life today and the decisions that I make will impact my future family for generations to come, and that is something I want to start thinking about now. It is not just about leaving a legacy or the impact that my life will play on my children's, but making wise decisions that may influence people hundreds of years from now. It is a lot of responsibility but I love it.

My CHEER for the week is a toss-up between the topic and the Geneva tour on Friday. I just really enjoyed learning about the broader picture of how the Old Testament is applicable, and it was awesome to see it applied in a real-life setting and to see how it has affected, and continues to affect, Switzerland and how that has impacted the world. Even though Swiss culture is cold and doesn't have a lot of "religion," it is very cool to see how the people and culture have been changed in their very core. Seeing it all in-person made it that much more real. Maybe I'm just a history geek...

My other CHEER was our trip to Annecy last Sunday. Someone from Florida recommended that we go visit it and it really lived up to everything I was hoping for. The city is fabulous and there is nothing I love more than a good farmer's market. We got to sample a ton of fun foods (like donkey sausage and a raw oyster) and I really feel like something in my head snapped. I didn't let the idea of food control me while we were there, and I really got to enjoy things that I normally wouldn't eat, in the name of culture and vacation. We had tons of sugar treats and crepes and baguettes and sushi and cheeses and meats, and when I let myself relax about that (and just get away with David), I realized that I was a lot more fun to be around and a lot of my old personality was back. It was a day I really needed and I'm grateful that we got to spend some quality time together. We often take each other and our situation for granted, but it was so fun to get out and just play with him and remember all the fun things I love about him.

My JEER for the week was the weather. I love how beautiful the snow is but I hate that it makes me feel even more confined to the base, and I was really bummed that it was too cold for us to really get in-depth with the Geneva tour. I think there was a lot more there for us to explore and ask questions about, and it would have been fun to stay and have a cup of coffee or just walk around the city, but it was just too cold. On the other hand, it is making for great pictures and stories to share with all of our friends in the US who are still laying by the pool :) 

The YWAM Value I want to explore this week is "be visionary." I think this really ties into what we talked about all week, and the tour of Gevena on Friday. I'm so impressed by people who have been able to look at the world and what is happening in it, and make plans not just for today or for their own lifetime, but for generations and generations to come. When we were in the Cathedral in Geneva, Richard told us about oak seats that had been soaked for 300 years, but they would last for 500. Who the heck has a vision like that? That man (or woman) instilled in her children a need for that wood to continue to soak, and the need became so important to them that they passed it on to their children...all because one day after they were all long gone, it could be put into a place where people could worship God. The Old Testament is full of stories like that, spanning generations, but they are the parts that I skip because I'm just not interested in the genealogy and I can't pronounce the names. I want to be visionary though - I want a vision that spans my lifetime and affects the lives of people who won't be born for hundreds of years. After this week, I've realized that those are the true visionaries, and people who are really able to have an impact for Christ on the world.

A World Worth Saving

This week was probably, to-date, my favorite DTS week in terms of teaching. Leah (?) came from Canada (via England) to talk to our class about worldview and had a lot of great insight into how we see the world and why each of us sees it the way we do. Although there are only 9 people in our DTS class, this week helped me to realize that we have all come from very different backgrounds, representing different nationalities, family structures and church backgrounds. The experiences we've each had have helped to shape our views of the world and even the way we see God, and Leah was helpful in reminding us that the ultimate worldview is the way God sees things. Unfortunately, this is easier said than done, since much of scripture has been debated by brilliant scholars for hundreds of years. Even so, it is refreshing to know that when things seem overwhelming, we can go back to the Bible to see what God thinks, and apply what we read and hear to our lives and situations.

My favorite part of the class (CHEER!) was on Friday, when she talked about God's view on injustices in the world and went through some of the initiatives that are being done in areas like HIV/AIDS, child mortality rates, extreme hunger and poverty, gender equality, and environmental sustainability. The "J" part of my personality loved this part, because it really wants justice in the world. There is so much to be done, and as disciples of Christ, it is our job to make a change in the lives of people who can't do it on their own. These people didn't do anything more to deserve their lot in life than I did to deserve mine, and they couldn't be more different. Over the past year, I have read a few books that have really opened my eyes to the injustices of the world that I would highly recommend. One is Radical by David Platt - it is just that: radical - but it dares Christians to live out their faith and give up the "American dream" to make a difference in the world and shape lives for eternity by sharing the Gospel. Another great read was The Hole In Our Gospel by Richard Stearns, current CEO of World Vision. This may be my new favorite book, and it tells the story of Richard going from well-to-do CEO of a secular company to his job with World Vision and the way it has impacted his life and the life of his family. His stories of visiting communities around the world are heartbreaking and inspiring. Stories like these are what have driven David and me to want to be a part of making a difference in the world and Leah's teachings have made me even more excited to get started in South Africa and then head to Mongolia.

My JEER for the week was Bible reading. I have been really up-to-date with it until this week, and ironically we talked about it a lot this week. I have been sick, so most of my "awake" time has been in class but Leah also really drove home the point that to be able to share and live out the gospel, we have to know it. Although this really makes me want to read my Bible, it also puts a new responsibility on it and I am afraid of just skimming through and missing something important that could make or break someone's eternal destiny. I know that God is bigger than letting that happen but it is a worry, nonetheless. My other JEER for the week has been being sick - we're all cramped up in the base and sharing germs and there is nothing worse than just feeling blah. It makes me miss my family and all the comforting things about home (like medicine that doesn't cost $20).

The YWAM Value I want to explore this week is "Have a Biblical Worldview." I really learned a lot about my own worldview this week, and was so surprised to hear others talk about their worldviews in light of their past experiences. I think it is amazing that God has given us all unique ways to see His creation and this community to bounce ideas around between each other, but it is also incredible that He has given us His word to measure everything against. I've learned that it's okay to have different opinions about things, as long as we are following the ultimate view and really trying to hear what God has to say about things.

Who Am I?

This week, Carolyn kicked off our teaching with some thoughts on personality types. David and I had to take a lot of tests like this throughout college and before we got married, so I was pretty prepared for the types of answers I would receive. What I wasn't prepared for, though, was how God was going to jump and make a big splash this week.

The first real "aha!" moment of the week was after we took the Myers-Briggs Personality Test and Filo and I received the same results. It made me realize that the personality I have and the personality that I have been reflecting here are not at all the same. For example, I am an extrovert but I don't think anyone here would have ever guessed that. On the other hand, people at home would never have guessed that I'd be an introvert here. I realized after the "Sin, Cross, Repentance" week that I was holding on to a lot of bitterness and hurt that was affecting the way I was acting, but I really felt as though it was something God had been working on in me, and that things were improving.

Later in the week, Richard popped his head into my bedroom and asked if he could talk to me. These kinds of moments always send back memories of middle school when I had to go see the principal for something ridiculous I did in class...so I know these talks are never pretty! I met up with him and Carolyn and they shared that they were worried about my weight and that I was getting enough to eat. This whole situation is so bizarre to me because (like most girls, I would imagine) I have spent much of life on some sort of diet or thinking about my weight, and only recently have I felt like I've had a real handle on understanding the importance of diet/exercise/nutrition and been really confident and happy with my body type. Richard and Carolyn are right though - I have lost a lot of weight since I've been here, and I didn't have much to lose before I got here.  I remember my mom questioning me about my weight while we were visiting in Athens right before coming to Switzerland, and I have lost a significant amount of weight since then.

Richard and Carolyn prayed for me and asked me to think about it and then meet back up for a follow-up meeting. David came along instead of Carolyn and we were able to really work through some things with Richard about core beliefs I have. I've taken a lot of family communication classes and know the importance of family of origin but I also think that "daddy issues" get overplayed in Churches and Christian circles sometimes, so when we began to talk about my family, I was a little skeptical. Truthfully, though, some of the points were true. I am from a family where regret is common and emotions often run high. By nature, I'm also a planner and maybe even a little obsessive-compulsive. I hate not having a plan, and I have been completely and totally out of control here. We talked at length about how it is okay to fail sometimes and okay not to always have a plan. I can't say that I am entirely in agreement yet (theoretically, I get it but practically it's still hard to implement) but I'm working on it.

We also made a plan to work on my weight and have access to more food here on the base. I'm disappointed in the way that we cook for people here, because there are a lot of people suffering from poor health or past eating disorders, yet I think everyone would agree that we do not follow a healthy diet at all. These people are adults though, and must take care of themselves just as I must take care of myself. Elaine's friend, Rachel, is a nutritionist who is coming to visit at the end of the week, and I am looking forward to talking with her.

Learning about our personality types has also been interesting as we've been preparing for outreach. We have a very wide range of personalities on our outreach team, and it has become more apparent over the past week. I have some serious concerns over Florence and her children coming with us to South Africa but I am just trying to trust that the leadership team has that figured out. I feel like we are doing a disservice to her by setting her up for failure on outreach because physically she cannot (and has been directed by her doctor not to come) keep up with the schedule we have planned and the language barrier is just another layer of potential problems. I am doing my best to love her despite the situation, though, and know that God has a great big plan for her and our team.

Amongst all of the crazy emotion of this week, we also had the Donor Dinner, the base deep clean, Serve the City on Saturday and our book reports were due over the weekend. I love having deadlines and feeling like I'm back in school with homework and fun but I am glad to be moving on to a more "normal" week!

The Holy Spirit

This week, our DTS class traveled to Lausanne (which I still can't seem to pronounce correctly...) to team up with their DTS and listen to Maureen Menard speak about the Holy Spirit. Of all the big topics we discuss in Christianity, this is probably the one that I was the least familiar with. We talk about Him in church sometimes and He's come up in a few books that I have read but honestly, I haven't taken the time (or really cared) to do much more research than that. Isn't that terrible?

On a kind-of-related note, I've been listening to A.W. Tozier's Pursuit of God on my iPod during work duties and car rides, and have been really impressed with some of his insight and quotes. This is from another of his books, The Divine Conquest, but I thought it was a really great image of the Holy Spirit (emphasis added).

…The Holy Spirit is the Spirit of life and light and love. In His uncreated nature He is a boundless sea of fire, flowing, moving ever, performing as He moves the eternal purposes of God. Toward nature He performs one sort of work, toward the world another and toward the Church still another. And every act of His accords with the will of the Triune God. Never does He act on impulse nor move after a quick or arbitrary decision. Since He is the Spirit of the Father He feels toward His people exactly as the Father feels, so there need be on our part no sense of strangeness in His presence. He will always act like Jesus, toward sinners in compassion, toward saints in warm affection, toward human suffering in tenderest pity and love.

Beautiful, right?  Maureen also made a lot of great points throughout class and was able to show us a lot of scripture about the Holy Spirit.

"Now the Lord is the Spirit and where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom. and we...are being transformed into His likeness with ever-increasing glory, which comes from the Lord, who is the Spirit." -2 Corinthians 3:17-18


We spent a lot of time talking about the freedom that we have in the Holy Spirit, and how the Spirit  gives us al the power and strength of Jesus, who came and lived faithfully so that we could learn to live the way God intended Adam and Eve to, is literally seated at the right hand of the Father. How overwhelming to think that I have the power and authority of Jesus!

Another interesting point that Maureen brought up was that the enemy can only attack if we let him, which can happen when our hearts get hard through unconfessed sin and unforgiveness of others and ourselves. Even when we feel powerless or like victims, we can use the ministry of the Holy Spirit to fend off and fight an attack. Even though our DTS class is pretty diverse in our backgrounds, adding the Lausanne class gave us even more opportunity to hear from students of different backgrounds and I learned a lot from questions like these.

I love the way Romans 8:9-11 is explained in The Message version of the Bible and I think it really sums up Maureen's teaching for the week and the way I now understand the way the Holy Spirit works within the Trinity:

"But if God himself has taken up residence in your life, you can hardly be thinking more of yourself than Him. Anyone, of course, who has not welcomed this invisible but clearly present God, the Spirit of Christ, won't know what we're talking about. But for you who welcome Him, in whom He dwells - even though you still experience all the limitations of sin - you yourself experience life on God's terms. It stands to reason, doesn't it, that if the alive-and-present God who raised Jesus from the dead moves into your life, He'll do the same thing in you that He did in Jesus, bringing you alive to himself? When God lives and breathes in you (and He does, as surely as He did in Jesus), you are delivered from that dead life. With His Spirit living in you, your body will be as alive as Christ's!"

Although we spent quite a bit of time talking about some of the more controversial ideas of the Holy Spirit, like gifts (mostly tongues), I was disappointed that we never got around to talking about the fruit of the spirit. Gifts are something that tend to stand out every once in a while but the fruit of the spirit is something that we, as believers, should be experiencing every day. As I have worked through a lot of sin and bitterness in my life over the past week, I have begun to see more of the fruit of the spirit in my life and would be interested in hearing what Maureen has to say about it.

All in all, I thought this week was really informative and it was great to get out of Burtigny and join up with the Lausanne DTS for the week. I am definitely inspired to do more research and learn more about the Holy Spirit and His role in my life.

My CHEER for the week is everything outreach-related! Although I love the lecture phase of DTS and am definitely learning and growing, I am most excited about outreach. After a lot of discussion and prayer, David and I feel like we are being called to South Africa and I am excited about getting together in our teams next week to begin discussing what our outreach phase will look like. It is crazy to me that we will be in Africa by Christmas and that we will be there almost as long as we'll be in Burtigny (and we haven't even been here for 2 months yet. Amazing!). I'm really excited about outreach and hearing the final decisions this week was definitely my highlight!

My JEER for the week was the night activities that we did as a group. I love our DTS class and spending time with everyone but we are together a lot during the day and don't have a lot of downtime - especially this week since we were in Lausanne for the better part of the day. I understand the point of community and team building, and I think the idea behind Holy Spirit night was great but the movie night was unnecessary, especially since we couldn't really even talk during the movie. I love any excuse to try a new recipe, though, so I made Vintage Victuals' chocolate chip cookies and I think they are my new favorite.

The YWAM VALUE I want to explore this week is to "be broad-structured and decentralized." Being in Lausanne at their base made me really see and value the differences in the various bases around the world, and I am thankful that YWAM encourages individuality and creativity while maintaining relationships and core values. Even within the same country, different bases need to cater to different students and communities, and I'm glad that there is literally something for everyone within the organization. I am also glad that I ended up at Burtigny instead of Lausanne :) The people there were great, but visiting made me appreciate our little village and the homey feeling of our little base.

Sin, Cross, Repentance

Growing up in church, the basics of the Christian faith were hammered into my head (along with questionable theology like warm, fuzzy stories of cartoon animals walking 2-by-2 into Noah's ark, and Jonah having a hayday inside a whale). We sin, Jesus died for our sin on the cross, and to take advantage of that, all we have to do is repent.

Duh.

Richard really hammered it home this week, though. I love that he started his teaching by working through the Old Testament and giving us a background and history of blood sacrifice and some of God's characteristics.

...Then we got down and dirty. Richard challenged us to do a little deep cleaning in our hearts, and spend time asking God where there is sin in our lives. We discussed how God does not want to punish us for our sins, but rather, like a parent, he disciplines out of His incredible love for us.

"This righteousness from God comes through faith in Jesus Christ to all who believe. There is no difference for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God and are justified freely by his grace through the redemption that came by Christ Jesus. God presented him as a sacrifice of atonement through faith in His blood." - Romans 3:22-25

The view from our condo in Florida of a church across
the Intercoastal during a magnificent sunset.

We went though a "Sin List" so that we could sit down with God and ask him to reveal where we have sin in our lives that we don't even realize. The "Sin List" included:

• Idolatry - putting anything before God (career, $$, friends, family, etc.)
• Blasphemy - using the Lord's name inappropriately, saying "God told me..." when He didn't, etc.
• Breaking the Sabbath
• Not honoring your mother & father
• Murder - or using other physical force
• Adultery - emotional sexual deviation, lust, pornography
• Stealing - time, small stuff, large stuff
• Bearing False Witness - lying about people to look better; gossip
• Coveting - "I wish I had..."
• Bitterness - complaining, talking about other people
• Foolish Conversations - going around and around
• Lewd Humor - inappropriate jokes
• Unresolved Debt
• Fear - not trusting God
• Disobeying God - not doing something He specifically asks of you
• Hatred
• Pride

At first glance, I didn't really think I had a lot to bring to the table. We're all sinners and I know that but I haven't done anything really "big" or "bad" lately. I didn't steal a car or kill anyone, I don't tell inappropriate jokes and I don't have any debt (yet). Sitting down with the list was really convicting though - there is some major sin in my life and the more I looked at it and studied what God has said about it, the more I realized the implications it has had.

The sins that God really laid on my heart were:

• Coveting - familiarity of home; having a house/family; money; material possessions. Being able to decorate a home or have a "normal" job; knowing what the future will hold - stability.
• Sabbath - making it a priority. We have plenty of free time here but am I using it wisely?
• Bitterness - Not being totally content and joyful with where God has me now; not trusting that He knows what is best for me in this season. Using my bitterness to pull others down or as an excuse to complain/gossip.
• Fear - being scared about my future. Not praising God for what he has already given me, but being timid about the days to come. Not keeping in mind his promise to take care of me.
• 
  

When God says he wants us to walk in the light, He is saying that he wants us to feel FREEDOM and JOY and HAPPINESS and PURITY, not the emotions that have been coming with my sin - frustration, annoyance, bitterness, lack of control, timidness, fear, hurt, anger, rejection. He wants us to enjoy one another and live in community and draw strength & encouragement from one another. Why do I hold on to painful things that drag me down? Why am I making myself unlovable and hiding in the dark instead of rejoicing in the things He wants to give me when I walk in the light with Him?

"For once you were darkness, but now you are LIGHT in the Lord. Live as children of the light." - Ephesians 5:8

"This is the message we have heard from Him and declare to you: God is Light. In Him, there is no darkness at all...But if we walk in the light, as He is in the light, we have fellowship with one another and the blood of Jesus purifies us from all sin." - 1 John 1:5,7

"But the fruit of the Spirit is: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control." - Galatians 5:22






"For the sinful nature desires what is contrary to the Spirit, and the Spirit what is contrary to the sinful nature. They are in conflict with each other so that you do not do what you want." - Galatians 5:17




It is amazing to me that the God of the universe loves me even when I'm not walking anywhere near the light. When I'm not being anything that resembles a living testimony to Him, or trusting in Him in at all. He doesn't just love me a little bit either, He loves me so much that He sent His son to DIE for me. He paid the ultimate price.

Really? Really?

"You are forgiving and good, O Lord, abounding in love to all who call to you." - Psalm 86:5


"Because of he Lord's great love, we are not consumed, for His compassions never fail. They are new every morning. Great is your faithfulness!" - Lamentations 3:22



Redemption is such a confusing and amazing subject for me to think about. It literally baffles my mind because it costs us absolutely nothing and absolutely everything at the same time. It involves laying down our own rights and feelings and asking God to remove our sins as far as the east is from the west. There is absolutely nothing we can do to earn it and even though God sees us as valuable, we are not worthy enough to be able to save ourselves. I love this because it goes against typical Western ideals, that tell us we can attain anything if we work hard enough or give more or do more.

All of this realization was really huge for me this week. God desires so much better for me and He won't ever, ever, ever stop pursuing or loving me.


So, my CHEER for the week was the deep clean (which inspired me to vacuum and mop and clean my room too). It was something I wasn't really looking forward to at all but, like real cleaning, it feels so great when you're done and can see the final product. It's also embaressing to look back on the mess you've made after you clean but God offers a giant garbage can to put all of my junk in and send it to the curb, which is awesome. I also really loved the stations that were set up to help us sort out the things that came from the sin list - they really helped to illustrate redemption and God's love for us. I have a hard time really grasping that sometimes but the atmosphere of the classroom helped a lot. Kudos to Richard and the staff for getting it set up!

My JEER for the week is the attitude I've been toting around since I got here. I hate that I have been such a jerk and so bitter to myself and so many other people. I have caught myself so many times thinking negatively of a person or a situation or feeling sorry for myself but I love that I finally feel free and am able to take captive of the thoughts I've had and the tongue that I have not done a good job of filtering. I know that I am still a work in progress and that I'll have good and bad days, but I am also so relieved to know that God doesn't want me to be miserable and He has a great plan for me, I just need to capture it.

The YWAM VALUE I want to explore this week is Practice Hospitality. Ironically, my work duty is in the hospitality area but my heart has not been very hospitable lately. Going forward, I really want to embrace the community that we have here and be open and hospitable to everyone here. Living in a tight-knit community is very different for me but there is a good chance that I may never have this opportunity again, and even if it feels very encroaching sometimes, so I want to take advantage of having people around all the time. I want to get to know them and enjoy spending time with them and to learn to be hospitable to everyone, because God loves community and desires for us to be in it.

Niko Week

This week, our DTS class went to NIKO camp. David and I ended up coming home early for a few reasons, but I definitely learned a lot about myself and God through the experience, and am still processing quite a bit of it.


After a lot of preparation and packing, we arrived at camp, ate dinner, had a quick message by Alan, who is awesome, and were then presented with the opportunity to make a public commitment to the rest of the week. Only a few of us really took much time to think about it but it was something I didn't want to take lightly, so David and I spent a lot of time talking about it with each other, Richard, and Alan. Eventually, we committed and the whole camp began a hike to the barn where we'd spend the first night.

The next few days were a blur of teamwork, emotion, campfires, mud, push-ups, snow, beautiful hikes, and rationing cereal.


Eventually, after a lot of discussion and prayer, David and I decided to come back earlier than the rest of the team and arrived in Burtigny on Wednesday afternoon. I was surprised by the overwhelming support that we each received from our teams, especially since we were leaving after making a commitment to them - maybe they were just excited about having to share food with 1 less person :) 


Anyways, after we got back (and took hot showers and a nap), I wanted to start getting caught up with my Bible reading and jumped into Leviticus. Most of Leviticus is full of law that really applies to Moses and the Israelites, but among it I found these little gems: 


‘If a person sins because he does not speak up when he hears a public charge to testify regarding something he has seen or learned about, he will be held responsible." -Leviticus 5:1


"Or if a person thoughtlessly takes an oath to do anything, whether good or evil—in any matter one might carelessly swear about—even though he is unaware of it, in any case when he learns of it he will be guilty." -Leviticus 5:4


God really shook me with these verses, and confirmed that coming home was, for me, the best decision. I was reminded of John Bill's teaching about intercession and listening to our "first instincts" and realized that I was guilty of taking the oath on Monday night far too ligthly, even after my first instinct told me not to stay. Also, although I tried to remain neutral about us leaving and not persuade anyone else with what I thought they should do, I am proud of my decision to leave and physically "speak up" about what I felt was an uncomfortable situation. Staying or leaving was a decision each person in our group needed to make for themselves, but I'm glad that I had the opportunity to be an example and show that it is okay to get yourself out of something you do not want to be a part of.

Regardless of how I feel about some of the things that happened at NIKO, God is bigger than our situations and is able to use every moment to teach us something. My cheer for the week was definitely teamwork - I had a lot of fun spending time with my team on Monday and Tuesday and really saw new sides of Nancy, Billy and Dan. They each did their part in both leading and entertaining our team and I really enjoyed spending time with and getting to know them better. To me, the hike was especially great - while other teams were lost or traipsing through the river, our team just had an enjoyable afternoon together. In fact, we did so well together that we had to blindfold a 2nd member of the team...and we knocked that out as well.


The teamwork didn't stop at NIKO though. Filo, Sarah and Deborah came home on Wednesday night, so on Thursday we organized a time with them and Florance to make a "welcome home" sign and pray for the rest of our class. None of us really wanted to talk about NIKO any more but we had a lot of fun listening to music, eating cookies, learning about each other and decorating the sign together. It seems so silly to write about as "teamwork" but to me (and everyone else who worked on it, I think), the time was really significant as it kept my mind off being away from my NIKO team and helped me to concentrate on the new team I had at the base.

I've done a lot of thinking about what my jeer would be for the week, and I really can't decide. I think overall, I was just disappointed with the NIKO experience. I can brave the cold, I can hike, I can be sore and sleep in a wet sleeping bag, but I have a really hard time watching so many people that I have come to love be put in situations that they are extremely uncomfortable with under the name of the Gospel.


 I completely understand that outreach will be tough and that we will face a lot of similar situations but I think it is hard to replicate that in a week-long camp. We may have to cross a river full of alligators or kill a chicken or stand face-to-face with an angry person....but knowing that it is for the sake of saving souls, and giving people in Africa eternal life changes the entire perspective for me. 

Our team crossing a river in Haiti - to hand out Bibles and share
the Gospel

Unfortunately, trying to make that situation didn't work for me. I think that NIKO probably works really well for middle or high school-aged students who need to really experience God, but many of the "points" that the NIKO staff tried to make have already been made, in a much more powerful way, in my life. They wanted to show us how we will not always be under Godly or "nice" leadership - but I've lived that first hand by going to a secular university and working in secular jobs over the past few years. I have also heard/seen God work in my life in amazing ways, and He has always been there to offer grace, forgiveness and confirmation, not doubt, as portrayed by the NIKO leaders.


In the future, I think more communication would be helpful as well. If NIKO continues to be incorporated into a DTS curriculum, students should be warned to bring things from home that can be ruined. It was really disheartening to see students ruining their own clothes (and even stuff from the boutique), but especially hard to see things ruined that can't be replaced - like Carolyn & Kathryn's Bibles. I spent a LOT of time at Goodwill before coming here, on the lookout for skirts to take to Africa, and could have easily picked up extra boots, pants, etc. but that was never communicated. It is definitely not the end of the world, but something that could easily be avoided in the future.


While I'm still processing the week (okay, 2 days) that I spent at NIKO, it definitely wasn't a complete wash. I learned how much God desires community for his children and really came to appreciate all of the different personalities and learning styles that we have in our class. I also learned how important it is for me to take hold of what I believe - not what my church has taught me or what my family believes or what my favorite politician endorses. As David and I get ready to head to Africa and then spend 2 years in Mongolia, I know that we will be put into situations where we will have to make decisions based on our faith, and I want to be sound in knowing what God says and have the guts to get myself out of situations that I am not comfortable with. 


The YWAM Value I want to explore this week is "Function In Teams." I know it is getting redundant but I was really just blown away about the teamwork that I saw this week, both in and out of NIKO. During "typical" weeks in lecture, we don't have a lot of opportunities to work in teams (or maybe I just don't take advantage of them) so it was great to see the unity that working in teams brings. Being a part of multiple teams this week (my NIKO team, the "team" at the base, and my favorite team - David and me) showed me how encouraging and healing it can be, and exactly why God designed us to be in community with each other.


"As iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another" -Proverbs 27:17