Who Am I?

This week, Carolyn kicked off our teaching with some thoughts on personality types. David and I had to take a lot of tests like this throughout college and before we got married, so I was pretty prepared for the types of answers I would receive. What I wasn't prepared for, though, was how God was going to jump and make a big splash this week.

The first real "aha!" moment of the week was after we took the Myers-Briggs Personality Test and Filo and I received the same results. It made me realize that the personality I have and the personality that I have been reflecting here are not at all the same. For example, I am an extrovert but I don't think anyone here would have ever guessed that. On the other hand, people at home would never have guessed that I'd be an introvert here. I realized after the "Sin, Cross, Repentance" week that I was holding on to a lot of bitterness and hurt that was affecting the way I was acting, but I really felt as though it was something God had been working on in me, and that things were improving.

Later in the week, Richard popped his head into my bedroom and asked if he could talk to me. These kinds of moments always send back memories of middle school when I had to go see the principal for something ridiculous I did in class...so I know these talks are never pretty! I met up with him and Carolyn and they shared that they were worried about my weight and that I was getting enough to eat. This whole situation is so bizarre to me because (like most girls, I would imagine) I have spent much of life on some sort of diet or thinking about my weight, and only recently have I felt like I've had a real handle on understanding the importance of diet/exercise/nutrition and been really confident and happy with my body type. Richard and Carolyn are right though - I have lost a lot of weight since I've been here, and I didn't have much to lose before I got here.  I remember my mom questioning me about my weight while we were visiting in Athens right before coming to Switzerland, and I have lost a significant amount of weight since then.

Richard and Carolyn prayed for me and asked me to think about it and then meet back up for a follow-up meeting. David came along instead of Carolyn and we were able to really work through some things with Richard about core beliefs I have. I've taken a lot of family communication classes and know the importance of family of origin but I also think that "daddy issues" get overplayed in Churches and Christian circles sometimes, so when we began to talk about my family, I was a little skeptical. Truthfully, though, some of the points were true. I am from a family where regret is common and emotions often run high. By nature, I'm also a planner and maybe even a little obsessive-compulsive. I hate not having a plan, and I have been completely and totally out of control here. We talked at length about how it is okay to fail sometimes and okay not to always have a plan. I can't say that I am entirely in agreement yet (theoretically, I get it but practically it's still hard to implement) but I'm working on it.

We also made a plan to work on my weight and have access to more food here on the base. I'm disappointed in the way that we cook for people here, because there are a lot of people suffering from poor health or past eating disorders, yet I think everyone would agree that we do not follow a healthy diet at all. These people are adults though, and must take care of themselves just as I must take care of myself. Elaine's friend, Rachel, is a nutritionist who is coming to visit at the end of the week, and I am looking forward to talking with her.

Learning about our personality types has also been interesting as we've been preparing for outreach. We have a very wide range of personalities on our outreach team, and it has become more apparent over the past week. I have some serious concerns over Florence and her children coming with us to South Africa but I am just trying to trust that the leadership team has that figured out. I feel like we are doing a disservice to her by setting her up for failure on outreach because physically she cannot (and has been directed by her doctor not to come) keep up with the schedule we have planned and the language barrier is just another layer of potential problems. I am doing my best to love her despite the situation, though, and know that God has a great big plan for her and our team.

Amongst all of the crazy emotion of this week, we also had the Donor Dinner, the base deep clean, Serve the City on Saturday and our book reports were due over the weekend. I love having deadlines and feeling like I'm back in school with homework and fun but I am glad to be moving on to a more "normal" week!